This post just may be one of the bravest I’ve written.
Even more than when I posted a pic of myself in a bikini.
I’ve shared my fertility struggles, and my grief.
So why does this post stand out to me?
Here’s the thing… I’m a mostly confident person. It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I can honestly say that, after dealing with body issues for many of my younger years.
But still the person I think I am, and the person I see in the mirror do not always match up.
I picture myself as a youthful woman, fresh out of college, and able to fit right in with any sitcom character on tv, running around NYC without a care in the world.
But the truth is, I’m a 35 year old soccer mom. I drive a mini van. I can still kick it on the dance floor, but my hemlines have gotten a bit longer and my (self-imposed) curfew a little earlier. It’s been awhile since I’ve been carded.
My son grabbed my camera the other day, and got an extreme close up of me. If you want an honest assessment of the state of your skin, take a razor sharp lens and zoom right on in. I cringe when I see those lines.
I’m happy I have them. Every one of them made their appearance there because I smile a lot. When I smile, I tend to do it with my whole face. And I have much to smile about.
I am blessed to have the love of family, a happy home, great friends, and so much more.
Though you can be sure I’ll still be applying that anti-wrinkle cream daily and nightly, I’ll also be trying hard to reconcile who I believe myself to be to that woman in my reflection. The years will continue to pass, and that’s ok.
Below, that extreme close up, with no re-touches. I’m owning the skin I’m in.